Ha! I’ll come back more beautiful…

My computer does its best to warn me. 20% battery left. I ignore the message. 12% battery left. I ignore the message. 6% battery left. I ignore the message agaain – arrogantly, foolishly, detrimentally.

The computer screen goes dark.

I stare at the black rectangle. Silence stares back at me.

Row and rows of lines swallowed by the dark void. I gulp. I had been typing away furiously. I had no time to get up and plug the cord in. For who in their right mind, would disturb the stream of thought – especially when on a roll.

Yeah right...  that’s what I tell myself. Too lazy to get up, seems more like the truth. But oh well, let’s not challenge muse and her/his (?) mysterious ways. Hmm…

I get up dejectedly and plug the cord in. Sigh… this is the second such instance in the past few weeks. Am certain the other piece I lost was the most brilliant piece of writing, ever. Yeah yeah…

I continue to mentally chide myself for the clumsiness.
Then suddenly I am tired of being disheartened. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of being discouraged – by this and everything else.

I turn back, look at the computer and say, “Ha! I’ll come back even more beautiful! Prose like you’ve never seen before!”

I laugh at my confidence that doesn’t generally abound these days. I am very amused and even impressed by this confident, and even somewhat arrogant stranger living inside me.

I like this stranger. I wish she would stay.  I wish she could stay.

I wonder how many of life’s drubbings I can say that to. I wonder how many of life’s drubbings I may have already said that too. Unknowingly. Unnoticed.

I wonder how many comebacks remain in store. I wonder how many comebacks I may have made. Unknowingly. Unnoticed.     

Highly unlikely, that I come out of them, “even more beautiful” (indignant, arrogant air notwithstanding). But looks like the intention is to comeback. And that may be a good enough start.  

In the meantime however, it may be simply more prudent to plug the computer in when it tells me to.

p.s. I was writing something altogether different. Funny thing is, I have no intention of returning to it. This seems just right.