Scatter and fall…

About ten days ago, I have a fall. No reason for alarm, I’m fine. Really.

I get out of the car, walk on to the pavement, step on the water meter cover, the water meter cover caves in. Yes, the cover completely goes in; in goes my foot, I spill on the pavement. Of course, with the most elegant flair - my scarf whirls in the air, my long tresses toss stylishly, the beautiful silks of my dress rustle, while I fall to the ground ever so gracefully…

Yeah right… can’t remember if I scream, or how loudly, but as I fall…yes, while my body is going from vertical to horizontal, mid-air, these are my thoughts…

“Oh man, I really liked that shoe…” (the shoe is now off my foot and in the hole under the water meter cover).

“No concussions, no concussions…don’t let the head hit the ground”. Three people I know have had concussions the previous week, and I am somehow determined to not let that happen. I assume I torque and twist my neck, but I don’t allow it to touch the ground.  

Other thoughts later (I am amazed at how many thoughts we can cram into a moment), I am on the ground.

All I can now think of, is that GIANT slug… right next to my bare foot… who I swear, is rapidly inching its way towards me.

“Will it be able to reach my foot? Is it a fast-moving slug? Are there fast-moving slugs?” Yes, rather than wonder if my ankle is sprained, or bones are broken, or if I will ever walk again… my mind is occupied by this Usain Bolt of slugs.

A sweet couple sees me fall, rushes to where I am. I point to the slug near my foot, mutter something unintelligible (I presume). I want to warn them of the slug. The woman assumes I am pointing to my foot and holds it and starts to move it. Lovely and kind as she is, I do not want her to turn my foot or twist/retwist/untwist my possibly twisted ankle. Yes, my inner-paranoia is still intact. I notice that.

By now, my husband gets out of the car. Not sure he sees me fall, or hears me scream, maybe he sees that he can no longer see me… and hence I must be on the ground… Elementary, my dear Watson…

He notices the slug. Relief rushes through me.
“He may truly be my soulmate, after all...” (my husband, not the slug).

Still on the ground, no attempt has been made to see if I am able to stand.  

“Maybe it’s not so bad after all. I may still be able to go dandiya dancing (Indian festival) tonight” (!!!! Yeah – same reaction - you and me both).

No. I do not go dancing or leave my bed for many hours. I do however wonder about the physics of the fall, given that I have bruises on both sides of my body.

I recount the fall to my acupuncturist and also recount my random thoughts during the fall; shaking my head at the realization of how shallow I must be to be concerned about the shoe, rather than the fall.

My acupuncturist tells me that it is often natural to fixate or be hypervigilant about something altogether different in an acute moment, so as to not feel the impact of the more pressing matter.

The wise man’s words make sense. I may not be crazy, after all. This may be our mind’s way to protect us from the intensity of an intense moment. To diffuse it, perhaps. To lighten the impact. To not have to process the moment, just then. For we may not have the ability or skills or nerves, or strength to do so in that moment.

Of late, I am increasingly aware of the layers of emotions we live in. How we layer our emotions like a multi layered cake or lasagna. (So much more delicious than the layers-of the-onion analogy, right?) But yes, sadness over love, anger over sadness… the layers go on…

I wonder if this distraction from the emotion of the moment, causes more layering…  

Maybe it does. But maybe it helps us stay safe from complete panic in the moment. And that is a beautiful thing…

And now, I will answer the one question on all of your minds – Yes. I found the shoe.