Tests of endurance… of mindsets, emotions, and faith in one’s physical strength and self

This was a quick ten minute jotting with frozen fingers, as we waited for chai in the morning. Pictures of these notes attached - just for fun :)  

I set on a small Himalayan trek after decades. Treks that I had loved as a teenager, constituting some of my most favorite memories. The kind you turn to in difficult times, images of places of peace and beauty, that bring back peace and beauty in a trying moment.

This trek was neither too hard, nor too rustic in terms of hardship. We had a guide and porter and someone to make hot chai and food at a most incredible campsite in the Himalayan mountains. Such luxury. My jaw would have dropped in disbelief had I heard of this decades ago.

Yet, there was a small apprehension gnawing inside me. Would embarking on this “luxurious” trek cast a shadow or tarnish my old memories of treks in the Himalayas? Would it be too hard? Would my body, once spry like a mountain goat on these very mountains now feel heavy and burdened and incapable of completing the trek?

The excitement was real. More so because I was setting on this adventure with a best friend of over 30 years. One who loves these mountains and treks every year. Both were excited to be here, both were excited to be here together, both had demons of physical limitations to overcome. Time had been hard on our bodies. Illness, surgeries, physical limitations sometime do more than simply the physical aspect. They cause doubt and apprehension to creep in. Doubt in our own physical abilities, apprehensions of things that can go wrong.

These doubts and apprehensions, even if killjoys, are also real. And sometimes, it is hard to tell how real or how big they may be.

So what do you do when they cast a shadow on your sense of spirit and adventure, on everything you hope to do? Do you look at your spirit with a certain sense of dread and distrust? Play it safe and not venture out?

Moderation (as with everything as we age), is key. Understanding limitations (even if sometimes hard to estimate) may be key.

But as I sit here scribbling this with frozen fingers in the Himalayas, with eagles circling above the majestic mountains and my bestie taking in the views (or searching for possible network), I am glad we didn’t listen to our limitations. Or try to keep our old memories intact by not risking to taint them with possibly bad new ones filled with limitations.