A crunchy new 2018

The new day in the new year is bright, sunny and crunchy. What a perfect start to the new year. Like turning a page in a notebook to find the clean crunch of untouched paper.

In my mind, I stroke the untouched sheet. With tepid apprehension. I wonder how it will turn out. Will it be pretty or just plain, vibrant or boring, filled with things I love or those I dread, with hope and joy or fatigue and frustration? With energy to do the things I want to, or poor health. A bit of everything I suppose.

Like every year. There will be the pretty and the ugly. So will the page be how I assign space to the dazzling vs. the dark. Will the page look the way I see it? Will sparkling streaks shine over the boring grey? Or will dark ones overshadow the lustrous?

For you and I both know there will be both, and how the page looks this time next year, will be how much space and energy I give to the dazzling or the dark.

In my mind and with my actions.

I hope I will remember to look at the parts that I love and give them more space. I hope I will have the strength and wisdom to accept and allow the darker parts to share the sheet, knowing they make the brighter ones seem brighter, that they remind me to be grateful for the good, accepting and knowing that contrasts will exist and even make the page more interesting. (I know… I know… let’s just go with more interesting.)

A friend asks about resolutions on New Years eve. To do more of the things that fill me up, rather than deplete me, I tell her.

As I stand on the brink of 2018, I know there may be grey moments of feeling depleted due to health reasons and other reasons perhaps out of my control. But how much of this exhaustion do I need to hold on to - in my mind and even soul?  

For there are many things that fill us up. That make us whole. That make us sing. Simple things. Grand things. Some we know of, some we will discover.   

These are the lustrous streaks that I hope I will reach out to – especially the easy and simple ones that fill our days with sweetness and brightness. That I will remain open and receptive and not hide behind the lackluster.

Here’s to our pages being sparkly and lustrous in ways we would like them to be. That they be dense and real, that all the holes be sealed and filled up with truth and goodness.  That the dark be swathed in acceptance, and the light of that which fills us up, sparkle forth.  

Happy New Year!!