Today is Dassera. The day Rama destroyed Ravana in an epic battle involving monkey armies, monkey Gods, intriguing and powerful demons, and much valor and bravery. I have always loved the allegorical telling of this mythology… the victory of good over evil. Of Rama, the conqueror of all evil, the restorer of all good.
This morning, I peek into my yard and am delighted to see
bountiful marigolds, yellow and orange. Nostalgic reminders of Dassera spent
decades ago in India. Of my tiny fingers enthusiastically stringing marigolds garlands
interspersed with mango leaves, of the bright orange and strings dotted with
green, everywhere. Of books, vehicles, all “instruments” honored with marigold offerings.
A bright auspicious day of new beginnings, fresh starts, of good overcoming the
bad, the old, the unworthy.
Over the past years, I have seen images of Dassera wishes
that depict the victory of good over evil within us. Ram is within us, as is
Ravana. More allegorical mythology. I have paused, I have appreciated the
thought and the retelling.
Images show a brave Rama destroying Ravana and his ten heads,
often depicted as a shadow, emerging from the same place as does Rama. Rama and
Ravana are intertwined, and Rama destroys Ravana and his ten heads, each of
which depicts a vice within us – victory of good over evil, within ourselves.
In the past, these images have given me pause. I have
appreciated them. I have aspired to awaken the Rama within, to destroy the demonic
Ravana with the ten heads – each symbolizing vices that don’t I don’t need … fear,
anger, insecurity, jealousy, worry… you get the drift.
Today, I see one such image. It gives me pause, again. But
something feels different, and I poke and prod that uncomfortable feeling. And
it gives me pause, again.
The ugly ten heads of Ravana do exist in most of us – like
from an ice-cream parlor, each of us has our own ten flavors and ten heads. And
while it would be wonderful to be a brave and valiant Rama, destroying,
crushing to the ground, turning to ash, those ugly heads that we no longer wish
to have inside us, I suspect it may be more complicated – for they are far too interwoven
in our being. Whether or not we may be proud of them, whether or not we may be
aware of their existence, whether or not we may be in denial of their being, truth
remains that they are still a part of us, and a part of who we are.
This realization and my analysis or retelling even, of the
symbolic heads of Ravana seems doomed. It has neither the valor, nor the
grandiosity of the mythological narration, nor the romanticized allegorical
beauty or happy ending. The inspiring story I have grown up with, is far more satisfying
and one I want to believe in for it tells me that the brave will win, and the menacing
will be vanquished.
But again, can we simply tear down the ugly ten heads inside
us – entwined in us, forming a part of who we are? There may be a reason why each
of those heads came to be in the first place. And where I stand today, it feels
impossible to simply destroy those ugly heads without understanding how and why
they came to be and why they exert a force, desirable or not it may be.
From where I stand today, something tells me that rather
than make them our enemies, and destroy them with bows and brave arrows, we
must somehow inch closer to them, to see them, understand them. Maybe even find
the courage to befriend them a little.
And while it seems far less heroic or romantic than pelting them
with brave arrows and blows, it may take far more courage than that involving those
brave arrows and blows. And it may need compassion, big, brave compassion, which
may seem incongruous in their face; it may need maturity and understanding and self-love,
to get closer to them, to not hate them, to not see them as their enemy.
And maybe that will cause them to soften and lose their grip
over us. And that may still be victory of good over evil. Even if it looks different
from the mythological tales.
They may not be reduced to dust to simply vanish from our
being, but they will lose their grip over us and allow us to be free. They may
always continue to exist and may always have the potential to rear their ugly
heads, for they are a part of us… and yet, we may have won… without going to
battle…
